At some point in your life you may have seen some kids on the street corner with a box of chocolate in their hands trying to raise money for some cause. It's pretty nice, they're raising money for some cause, probably for their school or something similar, and the chocolate bars are pretty cheap too, normally a dollar a bar. A buck for a bar of chocolate's not too bad, and it usually tastes good too because it comes from some rich fund raising company.

And now we have the second type of fundraisers. These are usually older, and are fund raising for a sports team. From experience, it's always a basketball team that they're trying to raise money for. The people trying to raise money are also usually black too, so the whole basketball team idea fits the description. I hate this type of fundraisers.

Why?

Well, first of all, they don't even sell the good candy bars that you get from a classy fund raising organization. I don't feel like eating M&M's and Hershey's all the time, that's why I fucking love fundraiser chocolate; it's something different.

Second off, they try to rip you off with their prices. Two dollars for a fucking pack of M&M's? And they're not even the ones with almonds in them! Are you fucking kidding me? I can walk into the deli right behind you can buy some for about a buck.

Third off, they're persistent and annoying as fuck. I actually did buy a pack of M&M's from one of them once; it cost me two bucks. I passed by them, went into a store to get something, came back out, and this guy's asking me to buy more candy from him. Seriously? I just did you a fucking favor and bought your shit five minutes ago, how the fuck are you going to ask me to buy more?

Fourth off, they're black. When I say black, I mean the ghetto ass black; the one that nobody likes. I can see your ass, pull your pants up. How the fuck do you even play basketball like that? Seriously, I bet that candy box is your cover for hustlin' on the corner. Either that, or you probably stole that box of Snickers from the Rite Aid down the street because I was just in there and they're all out of Snickers. Now I have to buy that shit from you at twice the price. Fuck it, I'm not hungry anymore; I'm not grabbing a Snickers.

Fifth off, they never never tell you jack shit about their basketball team. What, you guys don't even have a name for it yet? You need to raise money to come up with a name too? Pathetic.

Let's leave the fund raising to kids shall we? At least they know how to handle their shit.


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I deactivate my Facebook for about two days, get bored, and go back to find a bunch of girls with colors in their status. Just a color, like "pink" or "black," and nothing else. What's the color for? It's their bra color. After asking a few about it, I learned that it was some "breast cancer awareness" thing. I also "google'd" it a few minutes ago, looking for the actual quote on its origin. This is what I found:

"Some fun is going on…. just write the color of your bra in your status. Just the color, nothing else. It will be neat to see if this will spread the wings of breast cancer awareness. It will be fun to see how long it takes before people wonder why all the girls have a color in their status… Haha."

This is fucking stupid. First off, how the fuck are you spreading breast cancer awareness if most people have no idea what the fuck your status is about? It's just a fucking color. How the hell does that even spread awareness? Even if it did mention that it was the color of your bra, how the fuck does that spread breast cancer awareness anyway? It doesn't. Not only does it not spread awareness, it doesn't even help the fucking cause in anyway. A few girls told me they did it to support breast cancer. Really now, how the fuck does telling everyone on Facebook even slightly support breast cancer?

Anyway, after I knew, I went around informing the clueless guys on girls' statuses that the color stood for the girl's bra color. And the girls got all bitchy at me for 'ruining it'. What the fuck, seriously? I'm just helping people be more aware of your 'breast cancer awareness' movement, why the fuck are you getting all pissed about it? Is it because you don't want people to know the color of your bra? Well then, why would you post it up in the first place? Stupid.


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10/06/2009

Leave A Message



You know what I hate? I hate it when people call you while you can't get the phone. Maybe you're busy, maybe you don't know where the hell it is, or maybe you just don't feel like talking at the moment. That's fine, that's why we have answering machines; they answer for you and record the message that needed to be delivered to you. What a great invention, right? There's only one problem though: no one actually leaves a fucking message.

Alright, so some one just called me. I'm busy doing my work and I don't feel like getting up to pick up the damn phone, so I ignore it and let it ring. Ring, Ring, Ring, and finally the answering machine starts up asking them to leave a message after the tone. They don't. Instead, they decide to call me again, as if I'd pick it up this time. I don't pick it up, the answering machine goes off again, and they don't leave a message. Why the fuck not? If it was so important that you had to call me two times in a row, why the fuck didn't you leave me a message about it? That way I can know why you're calling and call you back if it's important. Or, let's say if I was out, I can come back and see why you called me, rather than having to call you up and see what you wanted.

And you know what else is great? They always wait for the answering machine to finish talking before they hang up the phone. How do I know? Because when I go to check my messages, all I have are fucking messages of them hanging up the phone. What the fuck? If you're going to wait for the fucking thing to finish, why not fucking leave me a message? It's like standing in line at a fast food restaurant. You finally get to the front of the line and after the cashier says, "Hi, can I take your order," you tell her you changed your mind and just leave. It's fucking pointless and irritating.

If you have something to tell me, leave a message and I'll get back to it, otherwise don't bother calling me again. And please, don't leave me a damn message where you just hang up the phone. That's just a waste of time.

Lastly, it's five times the fun when they call you from a private number and don't leave you a message, because now you don't even know the the fuck just called you. And it's even better when you talk to them later and they bitch about how you ignored them. You should have left me a message, asshole. But you know what the best part of it all is? People always call you when you're either not home, when you're busy, and my favorite one: the second you just come home exhausted and you just want to lie down and relax... RING!!! What the fuck, seriously.


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